1. Set a Budget
It's important to stick to a budget and to keep your wishes realistic. While this is a very special day your life, it's not an excuse to be wildly extravagant with money you don't have. Remind yourself when you feel like fretting that you still have many wonderful days ahead and you don't want these marred by paying back an unplanned overspend.
Aim to never exceed the amount specified as the total of your budget. If you overspend on one item, another item has to take a cut to meet the budget. Be prepared to be flexible and to prioritize the big spends that really matter. You can always make do or DIY on the things that are less important or even the frivolous but desired aspects.
If your parents or future in-laws are partially or wholly funding the wedding, you have an added help. However, remain conscious to not burden them either. Ask them for their budget ceiling and stick to it.
2. Set the timeline for planning.
Of all things about your planning, this is the most important aspect. Develop a sensible, reasonable timeline depending on how much time you've given yourselves. Begin with a calendar before you and try following a suggested timeline from a wedding guide. You will find such timelines in wedding guide books, magazines, online and even at the base of this article. In general, you're likely to find that most guides assume you have around 12 months to plan your wedding; if you've less time, simply adjust the timeline accordingly (the last three months matter the most anyway). (Timeline suggestions will be provided throughout this article.)
Don't panic if you don't have 12 months. Generally what planning guides suggest happens in the first few months are things that can be done fairly quickly, such as announcing your engagement, sending the announcement to local papers, purchasing planning books and software, planning the budget, selecting the bridal party and settling on a wedding date.
One of the principal reasons for a long lead-in time is the wedding and reception venues––the most popular ones are often booked out a year or more in advance and many people have taken to planning the wedding around venue availability. If this irks you or you just don't have a year, look around for great alternatives, from public garden spaces, to lesser known churches and mosques or town halls. Avoid the trap of thinking you have to use the venue every other bride is using this year!
3. Choose a workable method for your record-keeping.
You'll need to keep tabs of everything you've already decided and what's
planned ahead. Also, invoices, quotes, receipts, seating plans, photos
of desired decorations/clothing, patterns, instructions, etc. will need
to be kept in one place, so have at least one large plastic pocket to
keep these in one place. If you're more organized, use a few pockets to
separate by categories.
- Wedding software or planning apps can work well for digital planning. If you have tech-savvy friends helping plan the wedding, you might even consider making a wedding wiki open only to those of you helping with the planning. This can help enormously with shared planning and strategizing. On the downside, software and wikis need to be maintained through the inputting of information and scanning in documents, while a notebook can be taken anywhere and you can jot down things quickly and you can simply add the growing mound of papers to a binder. For many people, both digital and paper planning tools combined are the best of both worlds.
Remember to talk this over with the person you are engaged to. A dream
wedding for one may not be right for the other. You'll need to know how
many people are going to attend for the purposes of venues, catering and
invitations.
- As part of this decision, choose your bridal party. How many bridesmaids and groomsmen do you want? From none to a dozen, the choice depends on what you have always dreamed of and what space you'll have available for everyone to stand in at the ceremony. Remember that your total number of guests includes your bridal party.
- This decision is usually done at around the ten-months-to-go mark
5. Choose the venue.
The sooner this is done, the better, so that you know you have the place
you really want. Check out the spaces offered, the catering deals, the
marriage fees, the ability to decorate a church or synagogue, wedding
space, etc. Find out whether the prices quoted cover everything or
whether you'll be expected to pay for extras.
- Be aware that even church and synagogue venues may charge fees.
- Research into venues for the wedding and reception usually starts around the 12 months-to-go mark, with bookings occurring within the month once you've made up your mind.
The factors in choosing a date include the availability of your venue,
friends and family. Think about who you must have at your wedding, and
try to set the date with their availability in mind. Most people will do
their best to accommodate a wedding, so unless you know this person has
major surgery or a competing wedding in their calendar, you should be
fairly right with directing their calendar.
- Send out "save the date" cards to your guests. Once the venue and guest lists are confirmed, let everyone know what's coming up. Send emails if you know people will read them, otherwise, send cards to their postal addresses.
- Setting the date usually occurs at the same time you've confirmed the place of the wedding and the place of the reception. Finalization of the guest list should be done when there are about seven months to go. Do expect some cancellations and possibly some last-minute additions due to illness, pregnancy, overseas travel, etc. It often can't be helped, so go with the flow.
Choose a theme. It doesn't have to be anything really
specific, but a successful event tends to have a consistent feeling
throughout. Choose a theme that is easy to plan and decorate. Everything
should be consistent with the theme.
- You can usually hire someone that will decorate your wedding, but it can be expensive to do so.
- Visit the venue and take pictures of how the area looks. You may want to measure the dimensions of the room or area, to allow you to plan where you want everything go and to know if you have enough space.
- As part of the theme, research the flowers you want at the wedding. Find out if they're available during the time of your wedding or if they're out of season (the costs of flying them in can be very high). Finalize flowers around four months ahead of the wedding date.
- Match decorations to the color theme for best overall appearance.
8. Send out the wedding invitations
- Be creative; you can make your own and add a personal touch or go to a professional.
- Send out invitations around two months prior to the wedding; this should be sufficient time if you've already sounded out your guests and sent them "save the date" cards. (If Jewish, make sure to get kippots made.)
- Make wedding programs. As with the invitations, you can you have your programs professionally printed or make your own. It’s not recommended that you print your programs much more than a week in advance in case there are any unexpected changes, such as changes in ushers or candle lighters. If possible, have your officiant proofread the ceremony portion of the program.
9. Choose your officiant.
For a faith-based wedding, you'll be looking for a pastor, priest,
minister or rabbi. If they don't charge a fee outright to perform the
ceremony, be courteous enough to pay a generous gratuity for their time.
For a secular based wedding, choose a wedding officiant, judge or
person with authority to marry people who is both available on the date
and amenable to any particular special requests you have by way of vows
and ceremony.
- Attend premarital counseling. This may take a large time commitment, but it is often worth it in the long-run. Be honest about your desires and expectations for marriage. Both faith-based and secular-based counseling is available.
- If on a 12 month timeline, this is usually begun when there are about eight months to go.
10. Research, design and order your wedding dress
- Select a wedding veil if you're having one. And don't forget the shoes––from flip flops to diamond encrusted satin slippers, what's your preference and do they need special effort or will you buy them ready-made?
- Decide on bridesmaid's dresses at the same time. Are you paying for them or will they pay? You have less say over their choices if they pay but they're more likely to be happy with choosing their own style within your color choice.
- In some religions, it is traditional that the mother of both the groom, and bride comes to find the dress, as well as the maid of honor. This varies widely depending on where you live and what your faith is.
- Get tuxes and groomsmen clothing sorted and ordered about four months prior to the wedding. Send tux measurement forms to groomsmen a month before fittings.
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